in montreal.

god, if it wasn't so cold here i would be more apt to all but decide to stay for a while. i miss stimuli. i kind of forgot they existed. i was in starbucks with libby on saturday and while she was on the phone i happily stared at all the people who walked by, all the dogs on leashes, buses, cars, changing lights, everything. i've only been away a month but how i've missed distractions. on long island i have my mind to distract myself, which kind of defeats the purpose of distractions anyway; i'm pretty sure they were designed to remove oneself from one's thoughts. also, the eye candy is spectacular. when i lived here it all seemed so normal to have every other guy that walked down the street be a perfectly bearded specimen that they all but blended into the buildings they passed by. stranded amongst a society whose male population values hair gel and frosted tips above glorious beards, i suddenly realized how lucky i was to get bus crushes almost every time i went to school, cafe crushes when i was out studying, crushes everywhere. apparently i have regressed into the 16 year old version of myself. lovely. maybe soon i'll dig frosted tips again and the cycle will officially repeat itself.

being here has also been strange. packing up my apartment for the umpteenth time, i've become quite the expert but i don't think i have fully come to the realization that this time, my things aren't going to a new apartment, they are going to my basement for over half a year. a means to an end, i keep telling myself. tomorrow night i will be back in suburbia, driving everywhere, baking all the time and most likely wishing i was elsewhere. the grass is always greener...